Keeping your wedding stress-free

Weddings should not be stressful. Let me repeat that; weddings should not be stressful! Having been photographing weddings for over 6 years now we've seen a few stressed out couples both on the wedding day and in the lead up. Often on the day before the wedding, at the rehearsal, stress levels can be high in that last minute haze of setup!

Thankfully we seem to attract like-minded, easy going and fun couples as our clients so we haven't witnessed any full on wedding stress meltdowns! However, I totally remember the stress that came with our own wedding (before we were photographers) and how frazzled I was wanting everything to turn out just 'perfect', following wedding planning guides to the tee as if some writer for a magazine knew exactly how our wedding should be. If I could turn back time and tell myself what I know now, here's what advice I would give:
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• Remember the bigger picture of what your wedding day is about. Brides-to-be so often get caught up in the planning process worrying about things like table centrepieces, having perfect wedding favours and budgeting for ceremony decorations - letting the details stress them out. Yes wedding details are beautiful and bring together the style of your wedding day but in one, ten, twenty years times it's not those details that you will remember with fondness. Don't sweat the small stuff and keep the bigger picture in mind as you plan your wedding day. Remember that your wedding day is simply about marrying the one you love, surrounded by your family and friends, celebrating the beginning of a beautiful new chapter of your lives.
  
  
• Not everything will go to plan and that's okay. Something will run late, or get forgotten about - but again as long as you get to marry the one you love then the day is a success! The funny thing is usually you're the only one that knows that those table centrepieces weren't set up by the venue quite right, or that the order of events at the reception got out of whack - your guests have no clue & frankly won't care anyway! Matt and I cut our cake with a blunt kitchen knife on our wedding day which someone hurriedly grabbed for us from out the back of the venue - at the time I was embarrassed (how had we forgotten the knife for the wedding cake table?!) but now I look back & realise actually no one cared, it made for a laugh and in the scheme of things it really didn't matter one bit.
  
  
• Delegate. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I know brides often have a very clear image in their mind of how everything needs to look and they take on all the things because they know it will be done the exact way they want it if they do it themselves. Firstly refer to my previous point, then let go and delegate. I promise that you don't need to be doing all the things. Ladies I know we think we do, but we don't. Especially if taking it all on your shoulders is causing you stress.
  
  
• Prioritise. Let's face it, weddings are expensive! And money is one of the most stressful things in adult life! Most couples have a budget they need to stick to for their wedding and whether that's a big budget or a small one my advice is to prioritise for the things that are important to you. If the food is important, go big with that and compromise somewhere else. If the photographs are important to you (they should be 😉) then don't compromise on your photographer but make up for it somewhere else in the budget. It could mean using a cheaper venue or DIY'ing your flowers or decorations so that you can have the dress of your dreams. Whatever is most important to you should get priority and if that means making compromises elsewhere then that's okay. I don't see the point of throwing money at every single aspect of a wedding just because - especially when doing so can add so much stress. And remember your guests aren't there to rate or review your wedding out of 5 stars, they're there to celebrate you!
  
  
• It's just one day. When all is said and done your wedding day is just one day. For all the planning and money involved of course you want it to be the best freaking party ever, but after the day has been and gone you are left with the memories, the photographs, your husband (or wife) and maybe a bit of cake if you're lucky! There's no point letting stress cloud your wedding day. You want to have the best memories to look back on, not remember how stressed you were. You want to remember how fun it was, how much you laughed with your bridal party, how you danced all night! 
  
  
• Do it your way. Whether yours is a small intimate wedding, or a huge backyard party of 200 guests! A cheap DIY wedding because you're also busy saving to renovate your first home together, or a no expense spared wedding because you've dreamed of the big wedding since you were a child. Just do what suits you both, it is your day. There is no right or wrong way. It's not about impressing your guests or 'ticking' all the boxes. There is no rule book. This is your love story. This is the start of your marriage.